Saturday, July 14, 2012

It's the End of Bachelorhood as I Know It, and I Feel Fine

Let's cut to the chase = in 37 hours, I will be a married man.  This past week, as the abstractness of marriage has hardened into the concreteness of reality, I have oscillated between feelings of bewilderment and acceptance, with shades of excitement, fear, anxiety, and various other emotions thrown in for good measure.  

Every guy taking the plunge knows that a certain part of himself is about to die a sudden death at the wedding altar.  The times of being accountable only to oneself are gone; not only will a man's spouse be looking to him for support and guidance, but so too will his kids someday.  Every other about-to-be-married guy in the history of masculinity has undoubtedly been in my mental shoes before.

Why then would we commit to be married?  And by "we" I mean men (sorry gals).

Perhaps it's the awareness that we are not to live alone.  God (uh oh, here he goes with the Scripture) in Genesis 2:18, says, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

And men need help; it is not the other way around.  As the prophet Bono said in the book of AchtungBaby, Chapter 9, (quoting Irinia Dunn), "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."  Women don't need men, but we surely need women, and not just for primal, fleshy companionship.  There is a God-given deficiency in our molecular makeup that only a woman can satisfy, on an experiential, personal, relational level, beyond mere sexuality or common friendship.

In short, Suzanne is the only one that can satiate that deficiency in me.  And thank God for that.

Tonight I had a blessed time with "the bros" at my bachelor party, with ridiculously good steaks at Alexander's in Cupertino and a great comedy show by Nick Griffin and Tom Clark at Rooster T Feathers in Sunnyvale.  I couldn't ask for better male companionship and camaraderie as I head off into the sunset of bachelorhood.

With that said, I'm thankful to be leaving bachelorhood, and to be heading forth into a union both mystical and mysterious with my beloved wife-to-be.

The time has come, and it feels both right and necessary.

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