Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Smoke Eaters 911 Hellfire Challenge



They may not look like much, but these 12 Buffalo wings are some of the hottest delicacies known to man - and they can be found right here in the South Bay.
Smoke Eaters is a Buffalo wings restaurant in San Jose and Santa Clara, and they have a challenge made infamous by the hit show Man vs. Food. The 911 Hellfire Challenge consists of eating these 12 wings in 10 minutes, with no napkins or drinks, before enduring a 5 minute waiting period in which one's face and mouth smolder from the habanero sauce.
What do you win? A t-shirt, a photo on the wall, and bragging rights. It's a machismo thing.
I'm set to attempt this (bleeping stupid) challenge at 7pm on Friday at the downtown SJ location. Originally I was going to compete with a Red Wings fan, but he's unable to attend. However, since his family owes me free wings on account of a postseason hockey bet we had (go Sharks... sniff), his wife will be in attendance, videotaping my misfortune for all the world to see.
I've attempted to train for this - however, how does one train for a product that allegedly contains chili extract and pepper spray? Who knows if any of that is true, but I've met plenty of people who were unable to complete the challenge.
The principal obstacle in my path is my hiccup reflex. I violently hiccup upon eating spicy food. Fortunately, I've seemed to tame the beast somewhat - last night, while training, my hiccupping stopped after 4 spasms. Such a thing has never occurred before - I'll hiccup on into the night if certain measures (drinking milk, pressing down on the carotid artery) aren't taken.
Being the superstitious person that I am, I'm inclined to believe that the hiccup cessation is a good omen.
Whether or not I finish the challenge, I know that after 24 hours I will feel a raging hot sensation coming from a different orifice - that's one thing that sticks out from testimonials of the other fooldhardy sorts to have done what I'm about to do.
Yippie. Go... stupidity?
(Expect an updated post by Saturday, pass or fail. If the blog isn't updated, just assume I'm dead or otherwise incapacitated)

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