Thursday, September 11, 2008

Alexei Semenov is the most worthless Shark... and he's coming back

I pray this rumor is NOT true - but two major Sharks bloggers are reporting this, so I'll accept it as gospel truth. Defenseman Alexei Semenov, the 27 year-old, 6 foot 6, 2nd round draft pick (1999, Edmonton Oilers), is reportedly returning to San Jose...

The good news - his slapshot is over 100 mph.

The bad news - its trajectory is twenty feet to the side of the net (only a slight exaggeration).

I truly wish Alexei the best - but he is the clumsiest d-man I've seen. He is a giant among giants, but is slow on his feet, and even slower to react. He cost us a victory against Anaheim last year, a game that almost made me crash my car as I listened to Dan Rusanowsky say "score" with 30 seconds left in regulation, when we were previously ahead of our arch-rival by 3-2. Anaheim won in overtime, natch.

I remember being in Anaheim, and hearing Ducks fans commenting on how huge Semenov was. "Don't worry - he sucks," I told them.

Those that know me know that I would normally never put down the Sharks, especially to a Ducks fan. Alexei Semenov is the glaring exception to my policy... I prayed that free agency (he qualified this year) would send him to our divisional rivals, in order to sabotage one of their teams.

Yes, he's that bad. His plus / minus last year was -8... the only reason it wasn't lower was because he only played in 22 games, miraculously registering 4 points. Incredibly, one of those illustrious four was a GOAL... the opposing goalie was reportedly found dead that same night, of a self-inflicted bludgeoning. I kid, I kid...

Oh, and the photo above is of Scott Thornton (remember him?), duking it out with the one-time Oiler, reportedly saying, "I've seen the future, and you'll ruin my little cousin's team when I'm gone!" Or something heroic like that. Watch the whole fight here.

In other Sharks defenseman rumors, Kyle McLaren will be out for salary cap reasons. Given San Jose's other defensemen signings this off-season, I know GM Doug Wilson has his reasons... To be continued...

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